I haven’t written a line in my blog since I got engaged and decided that finally I can just lie around all day and do nothing started my new job and that was over 6 months ago! I missed my writing and felt quite guilty at times, but I couldn’t bring myself to even open my blog let alone type a word. They say consistency is the key to becoming great at something, I guess I am destined to be quite mediocre at this craft if I keep at this pace. Ah well, who cares! There were moments when I thought I will never have any motivation nor energy to write again. But 6 months later – here I am.
My every blog post is a reflection on something I’ve experienced and a way for me to integrate it and understand better (yes, I am very selfish like that!), however, my abstinence from writing has taught me something too.
When I changed jobs I rushed into getting back to my routine and do it all. From week 1 I put pressure on myself to sign up to the gym and find a yoga studio nearby so I can continue exercising, bring my lunch to work every day, maintain my social life without disruption, dedicate as much energy and time to my fiancé and my family, all while learning the job and getting accustomed to a new environment. And damn, a few months later I was exhausted! I would finish my work day absolutely drained from the flow of new information, tasks and challenges. And yet I was expecting from myself to carry on as usual without allowing for adjustment to a major life change and even reprimanding myself when I ‘dropped the ball’ on any aspects. I spend more time at work than with my partner so a new job might be a bigger life disruption than if I had a new boyfriend (just kidding!) so this is quite a big change. No wonder I couldn’t write. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. Now it is so obvious that all I needed was to let go and be ok with that, but oh well -now I know! :).